Family rules about alcohol (1121)

Parents and teens need to communicate about family rules before a situation arises. There should be a mutual understanding about the rules and consequences. Parents need to set the groundwork by identifying non-negotiable rules. These rules are not open to compromise. They relate to the physical or emotional safety of the teen and deeply held family beliefs. Teens need to be involved in discussions that will clarify and explain why the rule is needed, as well as determine appropriate consequences if the rule is broken.

Examples of non-negotiable rules:

"You may not attend a party where there is no adult chaperone."

"You may not ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking."

Negotiable rules require teen input. They should clarify what to do in a variety of situations and expectations about responsible and appropriate behavior. To be effective in determining these "negotiable" rules, parents and teens must listen to one another’s point of view and be willing to negotiate.

An example of a "negotiable" rule:

"If you are unable to get home by your curfew, you will call home fifteen minutes before the time you’re expected to explain the delay."

In all cases, as a family, you should determine what the negative consequences will be if the rules are broken. You and your teen will have a clear understanding of “what happens if the rules are broken.” It is also important to determine the positive consequences of following the rules. What privileges will be earned by following the family rules?

Situations you should discuss with your teen include:

- Attending parties and other social gatherings.

- Hosting parties and other social gatherings.

- Going out with friends. As an example, in the area of going out with friends, parents need to know where the teen is going, with whom, and what she plans to do there.

Parents and teens need to discuss several things related to going out with friends:

- How the teen and his friends will get to and from the event, and what time to be home again.

- Whether or not it’s okay to visit or entertain friends at home when parents aren’t there. Other rules involving movies and videotapes that are inappropriate to watch.

- What to do if plans change.

- Additional rules that pertain to dating.

Talking about what’s involved in making rules about alcohol helps kids learn how to handle tough situations.

For more information on this subject, Please visit the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Web site.

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