Rewards often backfire (1099)

Rewards and bargains with children often backfire. If you're bribing a child to change behavior, usually you find that you have to increase the stakes in order to get the behavior you want. Soon you are in way over your head and the ante gets too high. Maybe you have offered a toy or a game or cash but all of a sudden things are out of control and you're at a loss as to what to offer next.

The simplest way to encourage positive behavior is to catch kids doing things right. Perhaps you would like your child to improve his reading skills. The next time you see him reading, you might ask him to tell you about the story. Express that you are pleased with his efforts. Be specific in your praise, such as, "I like to see you reading, because the more you read the better you get.”

Another technique would be to establish some goals together. In this case you might set a goal to read together each evening for 10 minutes or one week. Establish a special activity that will not only reward the behavior but also promote the behavior, such as a trip to the library or bookstore. The next goal you and your child set together might be for her to read for 10 minutes alone, followed by 10 minutes together. This time you may not need to have a trial activity to encourage the behavior.

Talking about setting goals and negotiating with others are important skills to learn, so when you model these, you help your child learn them as well.

For more information on this subject, Please visit the College of Agricultural Sciences Publications Web site.

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