Getting angry with your child (1096)

Children learn the power of control at an early age and know how to hit adults’ “hot buttons". Before you get angry with your child, try this four-step process to work through the situation.

First, stop for a moment to cool off. If something happens that makes you really angry, step back, go into another room, be silent and take control of your feelings.

Next, look and listen. Try to determine what is really happening. Why are you angry? Is the anger a reaction to your child's behavior, or is something else, such as stress, lack of sleep or work problems bothering you?

Then, form a plan. Determine what you want your child to learn from the situation. Set goals for what you want to get done right now. Consider how many different ways you could respond to the problem.

Last, take action. It's important to carry out your decision and not leave the situation unresolved. When you are angry with your child, it is important that you remain calm. Count to ten or take a deep breath. Focus on the behavior that has caused you to be angry and what you can do to change your child’s behavior. You will be modeling emotional control and problem-solving, two skills that children also need to learn to become successful adults.

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